A kissing dream can be just as exciting or as troublesome as a sex dream… depending on who is at the other end of the smooch! And, like a sex dream, the meaning is not as bad as you think.  Last week a rather concerned young lady wrote in to my nationally syndicated newspaper column The Dream Zone with a dream she had about playing tonsil hockey… with her cousin!

Dear Lauri,
I was sitting in a room filled with sand and there were beautiful, red and purple Persian rugs with my cousin’s picture on them. I tried to walk to one of them to get a better look but the sand was really hard to navigate. As I got stuck, my cousin appeared and for some freaky reason we got into a hot and heavy make out session. By the way, I would never make out with my cousin!
– Kat 38, Wausau, WI

Lauri:  Interesting. Usually, making out in a dream can be connected to intimate conversation in waking life because, like kissing, it takes two mouths to communicate. Do you need to or have you recently had an important or intimate conversation with your  cousin? If not, then your cousin may represent someone you need to have a deep conversation with or something you need to have a deep conversation about. To figure that out, ask yourself what three things first come to mind when you think of your cousin. Can you associate any of those things with yourself or with your current circumstances?

The rugs could be a reference to sweeping something under the rug, rather than discussing it. Getting stuck in the sand suggests you are feeling stuck somewhere in real life, something isn’t progressing. Sand can refer to time. Is something taking a long time to change or happen? Whatever it is, sweeping the issue under the rug certainly won’t help the matter. I think your dream is telling you it is TIME for conversation.

Kat replies: Aha! Yesterday was my brother’s birthday and I haven’t talked to him in years. I was feeling bad about the lack of communication in my extended family which includes my cousin that I used to be very close to and talk to a lot. And, this family won’t budge. Nobody will apologize and make an effort so we are stuck right where we are. Whew. At least, I am not a sick freak that wants to make out with my cousin!!!

Kat’s in good company. We’re all sick freaks in our dreams, after all! It’s funny how, in dreams, we seem to have no moral boundaries, isn’t it? Murder, incest, kidnapping can all seem perfectly normal in the dream world. The reason why is because the brain is working much differently while we are in the dream state than it does when we’re awake. For example, the part of the Prefrontal Cortex that controls rational, linear thought is dormant. This is one of the reasons that dreams are symbolic rather than literal. Therefore kissing is symbolic of intimate conversation. Murder is symbolic of putting an end to something you no longer need or want, etc.

When you can understand the symbolism in your dreams, they wont freak you out anymore. Instead, you’ll be able to see that they are very deeply connected to what is going on in your current life and, what’s more, like Kat’s dream, they are giving you extremely important messages you need to know to improve your behavior, your relationships, your current issues and your life! It’s a much bigger deal to be able to understand your dreams than you think. My latest book Dream On It, Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life shows you how to understand the symbolism in your dreams AND how to understand the way the dreaming mind works. If you had a copy, you’d be able to figure out your dreams in no time!

“I use your your book  in my practice. This is an amazing book. I use it nearly every day with my psychotherapy clients. It’s a wonderful adjunct tool.” – Dr. Jimmy Clifton, Millsburg, IN