Every Monday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything Inbetween  This week’s dream is from a gal whose regretting her one night stand…

To start you must know the characters in my dream, there were only two… me and my male neighbor (I live in a townhouse, so he’s really close). In real life a week ago, we had sex. We’ve never dated, he seemed to fancy me, so I invited him over to my place for a movie. Well, we never watched the movie and one thing led to another, it was cheap sex on the couch, then he left. I felt it went too fast and was a mistake, clearly he isn’t right for me. That next week I tried to contact him and invite him on a hike or something via email and phone but couldn’t get communication going. His last email read, “I’m laying low for now I want to get back with my girlfriend Donna.” I haven’t talked to him since.

So… Last night I was dreaming he was in bed with me wanting to give me a massage — no sex involved, he promised. I was very sleepy and just wanted to fall asleep peacefully. I finally took off my clothes and lay there, he spooned me and I told him to get out and go home! He jumped in the shower for 5 seconds, I thought that was a very short shower. I sat in the chair in the bedroom and put on a shirt and was about to put on some pants when he came in the room and fired I think about 5 shots in my chest. I actually felt the blood ooze down my crossed arms, it seemed so real. Then I softly said “I knew it.”

Startled with this, I woke up and had trouble getting back to sleep. I wondered in those waking hours if this dream was telling me something to beware of with him. I live alone and am very frightened now. Please help.

Lauri: I would not bet the farm that this dream means your neighbor will do physical harm to you (although I am all for women being able to take care of themselves as I am a black belt myself!). I do, however, believe this dream reflects the deep emotional harm that has been done.

In the dream you promise each other no sex because that is how you wish you could redo it… no sex. And perhaps this is even a promise you and your wiser dreaming self are making: no sex so darn fast next time (no matter who it may be)! He is massaging you in the dream because you want to relax and feel better about the situation. You throw him out because you want the whole negative experience out of your mind.

But notice how quick his shower was! That is connected to how quickly he washed himself of you. And that is precisely what hurts the most and why you were shot in the chest in your dream. The chest is where the heart is and where we carry our emotions. You have been emotionally wounded by this whole ordeal. Your arms are crossed at the end of this dream because that shows us your desire to protect yourself from further heartache.

At the end you say, “I knew it,” not because you knew he was going to shoot you, but because you intuitively knew this situation was not going to turn out well the moment you pulled your pants down in real life. Chalk this up to a lesson learned and get on with your life knowing you’re a little wiser for the wear.

Dreams help us in every area of our lives, relationships, career, overcoming the past… you name it!  When you can understand your dreams, your life gets better because decisions are easier, tough situations are clearer and you’re just plain smarter when you dream! My book Cracking The Dream Code will help you learn your own dream language so you can get an edge in life. 

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