Every Monday I get to dissect a relationship dream for my friends at  Em and Lo  This week’s dream a gal is wondering if her wet-dreams are normal…

I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something hot not only do I become aroused, but I have the actual big O. I would say I have several wet dreams a month. Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them. So what’s the deal?

Lauri: Having the big O during sleep is actually VERY common indeed for us ladies! And in my research, about two “wet dreams” a month seems to be the going rate these days among women. In fact, after the early twenties, dreams resulting in the big O rise among women and decrease among men. Yay us!

What causes the big O in sleep? It is definitely the dream content! The body does not know the difference between a dreaming event or a waking event, so its reactions to dream stimuli will be the same as reactions to waking life stimuli (save for the fact that the skeletal muscles are paralyzed during REM so that we do not get up and act out the dream). The eye balls move under our lids (hence the term REM, Rapid Eye Movement) because we are watching what is going on in our dream. If the dream is exciting or frightening, the heart races, we sweat, breathing becomes rapid. And if the content is hot, the brain sends the message to our lady friend down below and… BAM!…You have been the proud recipient of a wet dream. (For men, it’s the exact same process except after the mid twenties the big O’s are – unfortunately – fewer and farther between)

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What causes these hot dreams? Pay attention to your cycle. If you are in the middle, when ovulation takes place, this is when you are more likely to have a sex dream, because the body is ready and willing. It does not always refer to a physical union you want but a psychological union you need or have recently had. A naughty dream about the creepy guy in the cubicle behind you, for example? It doesn’t mean you secretly want your way with him, it means you either need to “come together” on some level for a project or for the good of your job OR perhaps there is something about him – like his computer savvy – that you need to bring into your own personality just as you might have brought him into your body in the dream. And if said dream ends in the big O, enjoy and rejoice in the fact that the result is not nearly as messy as it is for a man.

Dreams help us in every area of our lives, relationships, career, overcoming the past… you name it!  When you can understand your dreams, your life gets better because decisions are easier, tough situations are clearer and you’re just plain smarter when you dream! My book Dream On It, Unlock Your Dreams Change Your Life will help you learn your own dream language so you can get an edge in life. 

“I had been having some really crazy dreams and I wanted a book that would help me understand. I didn’t want a dictionary, I wanted something that would explain things to me. I hit the jackpot with this book. I learned a ton about dreams and the psyche when dreaming.  I would recommend this book to anyone who’s interested in learning about dreams and their meaning.”   – Tiffany, reviewer on Good Reads dot com

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