Every Wednesday I get to dissect a sex or relationship dream for my friends at Em and Lo: Sex, Love and Everything In Between This week’s dream is from a gal who has a pretty sad story…
About two years ago my husband cheated on me and got the “other woman” pregnant. A lot has gone on since then and I remained with my husband. Now, I’ve never liked this chick from the beginning. So after all has been said and done and we are all (sorta) comfortably pretending the others don’t exist.
I keep having dreams about her. First that she lived in my neighborhood. Then that she would come to my house with her daughter. (She is NOT welcome anywhere near me.) Then that my family would invite her to family functions (never in a million years) then get mad at ME for getting upset with it. I dream about this once or twice a week and I wake up incredibly angry every time. I get that I have unresolved issues with this, but what’s up? Why does it keep invading my head while I’m sleeping?
–Angry Sleeper
Lauri: Eshet Chayil, my dear. A woman of valor you are! I don’t know that I could have stuck it through…but you did and so now we have these dreams to sort out. Your dreams have progressed because your anger has progressed and your anger has progressed because the pretending is becoming less and less comfortable for you. Reminds me of the song of the old woman who swallowed the fly and proceeds to swallow increasingly larger animals, each to catch the previously swallowed animal to the point that she finally swallows a horse and dies! In the same way, this must be slowly killing you to keep having to swallow reality.
The progression your dreams are showing you is that this indiscretion which resulted in, basically, another family, is slowly but surely invading your normally peaceful state of mind. While she is not in your neighborhood, nor in your home, nor attending family functions, the awareness and pain IS VERY MUCH in your neighborhood, in your home and at your family functions — because wherever you go, so does the pain.
Why does it invade your sleep? Because you are “comfortably” pretending it does not exist while awake. And what we ignore while awake rises to the surface when we sleep because it must be dealt with. As long as the pain exists, so will the dreams.
Remember how Mom would always nag you to pick up your room, stop slouching, clean your plate and so on? Well, your mom’s got NOTHING on your dreams! Girl, they will nag you to death! They will not let up until there is some kind of resolution. Clearly, “comfortably” pretending is not working for ya. Might be time for a counselor and some serious introspection because this is no way to live. Good luck to you!
Allright, sound off. What do YOU think this woman should do?
Don’t let your dreams frighten you! Let them enlighten you!! Grab yourself a copy of one of my books and you’ll easily understand your dreams every morning and get a HUGE edge in life.
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Hello. I just dream that the mistress of my husband comes to our sons birthday party. My husband just nod and smiled at her and ignoring her and just playing with his celfon. Me on the other hand I kept following the mistress pouncing her, grabbing her hair, venting my angers and frustrations on her andmy husband just keep playing ignoring the commotion. Then the mistress cannot take anymore of my beating and run to my husband for a rescue. Then my husband get his keys and drive away with the mistress very angry. Then I woke up.
Why I always s dreams that my husband and his mistress I already revealed?
You have allow your husband mistress to take over the power that you have. You must say to your self I am above all the hurt and pain. It takes time to get over hurt and pain but you must and you will.Nothing happens until it’s time. If you are going to forgive him then do. The mistress is not the one to blame it’s your husband.It’s not the child fault please don’t be angry at her becasue she might be the very one that will help you in life.Years ago I had a certain situation like this I left the man but the child which is in her thirties and I are the best of friends today.You either have to heal and stay or let it go and move on.
I’m wondering, did she ever truly get an opportunity to vent how angry and hurt she was to her husband? Does she feel she never got the opportunity to yell and scream at how unfair the whole thing was? Was she allowed to go through the steps of grief? Or was she made to feel like it was her fault and she had to swallow everything quietly to keep her husband?
I went through something similar and I finally did allow myself to get angry and then accept the fact that the marriage was over and then speak calmly every single thing I felt about him, the situation and my plans for my future without him to his face. We’re still together and thankfully I’m not plagued by dreams of that other person.
If time is money you’ve made me a welathier woman.
Curious…This is my situation exactly. My husband has been unfaithful to me for the last 29+ years of our marriage and
got the whore, and yes, she is and always will be, a whore, pregnant months before we were married. He kept in touch with her throughout our marriage and subsequently, got her pregnant two more time, which makes her, yes, a whore,
not only to me, but I’ve spoken in the past, before their divorce, to her husband, who refers to her as a whore as well. My husband would sneak and take my small girls to meet up with her and the two boys he fathered with her, to the park, on school field trips and so on. My oldest daughter witnessed my husband and the whore, wearing a red bikini, floating together on a water raft ride at a waterpark field trip years ago. My daughter didnt tell me about the incident until a few years ago. My daughter has seen things that she should not have seen her father and the whore do. These things hurt my daughter deeply, and the scars are are not going away anytime soon. She is newlywed married three years to a hard working wonderful young man who honors, loves and adores her, and I pray for her marriage all the time. I dont mean to be long winded, but my dreams are, and have been often frequented by the whore, in different ways. My husband has only said that he knows he hurt me, but has not really said he’s sorry, not seems to be remorseful, as someone who is truly sorry and want redemption, should be. I live in the same city as the whore, and pray that I will not run into her, for fear I may snatch her whorish head ball, or maybe, slap her face violently, or push her down and stomp her. Ok, wait a minute, let me regroup my thoughts, because I should really be doing these things to my husband, whom I’ve stayed with during his years of selfish, thoughtless, also man-whorish actions. I am extremely angry, frustrated, broken, feeling unloved, unappreciated, used, unhappy, and most of all sorry that I let him continue to abuse my emotions and my heart, because my sixth sense tells me that his best friend is still a contact person for him to her. I am in deep thought for the coming new year, whether I want to stay in this loveless marriage or not. I will know shortly.
Only the Lord can heal this pain and fix the situation. Trust him, lean onto him and give God all your battles. If you don’t you’re going to stay in this angry and painful state. Be honest with the Lord, tell him everything. Ask the Lord to change your husband completely. Pray for the mistress too. Read John chapters 14, 15 and 16. Remember we serve a faithful God. Have faith and rest! Give it to the Lord to work out. Take care of yourself, love on yourself and stay in prayer. God is in control not us. Please trust him with it all. He will use you to share a testimony of his good works to his people. God bless you in Jesus name.
I think she truly wants to leave him, so she can find some peace, she is an amazing person for tolerating this as long as she has.I think it’s time she move on.She is suffering for his indescretion.Why should he be rewarded for cheating and destroying his family by being allowed to have a second family as well.Stay strong.
I had a dream my husband was in prison with the woman he was dealing with they both had on orange jumpsuits he was in one section and she was in another I went to see him in the prison and as I go up the stairs he says to me he married her again she was afraid and had hid it from her family that she was with him and he talked her into being with him again but in the dream she really did not want him but she did it because she did not want me with him but he doesn’t know that and in real life they have never been married I turned walked back down the steps heartbroken and said to his niece wow did you know you had a new sister inlaw it was like he snuck and talked her into marrying him can u help with dream